A Pseudo-Romance

Posted April 3rd, 2014 by Duken

I became friends with personnel manager, Bob, during my first year at work. Most of the time that we associated with each other (in or outside of work) we were in the company of other staff members. Occasionally, we went to lunch. I asked to schedule a couple of meetings with him so that I could discuss professional opportunities for growth within the company and salary increases. The company was being relocated so I began looking for other work. Shortly after our meeting and at my one-year evaluation, my supervisor told me that she was told that I was monopolizing the Bob’s time and his staff didn’t have access to him. His staff indicated that my interactions with him were personal in nature, possibly romantic. I was upset at what I learned and concerned that these inaccuracies would affect my career. I spoke with a new co-worker who mentioned that Bob was gay. Then, I became doubly perplexed because the rumors of our supposed romance made no sense, unless his staff thought he was heterosexual.

About one year after leaving that company, I had a discussion with Bob’s former personal assistant. The assistant told me that Bob had been dropping my name during his staff meetings, mentioning when he and I had lunch plans, making false statements about me or the two of us, etc. In essence, he was fabricating a romantic relationship and sharing that with his staff. He wasn’t just gay; he was in the closet. The psuedo-romance helped him maintain his cover as a heterosexual professional.

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